I have had the pleasure of communicating with countless ladies who have decided to become housewives or are in the process of trying to become one. One of the biggest problems they've faced is having to listen to others scrutinize their choice. A lady, Kayla, who was an attorney and became a housewife told me that, coming from a family of doctors and lawyers in Manhattan, no one supported her choice. This seemed especially harsh to her since she was partially raised by the customary upper-middle-class nanny ...
"My mother never had enough time to spend with me as I grew up, and I didn't want to be that kind of mom, even though I know she greatly sacrificed for us in other ways." When her physician mother found out that her daughter was quitting life as a stressed out attorney to be a housewife and now stay-at-home-mom, her mother took to speaking to the rest of the family to get her to change her mind. Her mother got Kayla's father to talk to her about how much tuition money they spent on her, from private kindergarten all the way up to law school. Her competitive sisters insulted her by telling her she would basically be a dish washer and diaper changer the rest of her life.
"But that sounded good to me."
"It never dawned on my family that seeing their harried and stressful although successful lives would want to make me change the course of my life."
Kayla simply had enough. Even before she met her husband she began to question why she became an attorney. "People only see the nice dress suits. They don't see the yelling at the office and adversarial nature of the legal field." Kayla was worn out and couldn't bear the idea of spending her remaining working years in the same field. Even then she wanted to be a housewife, with or without kids.
"To this day I am sort of the black sheep of my family, which is ridiculous considering I made a very natural choice to be a stay at home wife and mother. They can pay their nannies and housekeepers. I want to do it myself."
Kayla also noted she lost some female friends when she became domestic. "I think there is this modern belief that women are only supposed to strive for career success while sacrificing home life, and people seem to just go along with that trend. Old colleagues want to talk about their latest Fortune 500 client and I just want to find new variations for my beef stew."
"Sometimes you have to say goodbye to people, realize that you get a more chilly reception from them, or understand you're out of their 'club'. But their opinions don't matter to me anymore because they don't care about my happiness."
Being a housewife proves to be too basic for some people. But us housewives cling to the basics, as they are foundations for a fulfilling life.
What about you? Have you gotten a chilly reception for choosing domestic life?