Saturday, April 29, 2017

My Goals Are So Much Simpler These Days


There was a time before I was a housewife that I had lofty goals similar to those of many other college girls. I thought I wanted to make gobs of money, climb the ladder, and be somebody, as if I already wasn't somebody. But as I went along, I slowly found that the old traditional nest-making skills would bring me to actual satisfaction in my life ...

When I got a decent paying job after graduation, I couldn't wait to get away from what I had wanted for so long. This was the real world, the jungle people can't wait to get away from at the end of the day. In the end, reaching the goals I thought I wanted would mean losing my identity and my soul.

One day I walked out on my old job and its bad memories, found a husband, and it all fell into place somehow. I put my binder down and put an apron on instead. 

My goal was to be the perfect housewife of a cozy, welcoming home, and it still is. I worked out my old worries through kneading dough out for the perfect puffy loaf of bread, by learning to make a juicy roast that made my husband full, happy, and sleepy, and by doing simple things like darning up old socks with holes and using unwanted clothes to make and stuff throw pillows by hand. Adding those little personal accents to our surroundings fill me with pride each time I look at them.

My current goals vary by day. Sometimes its making morning hotcakes with crispy black edges in a cast-iron pan. Sometimes its trying to grow beautiful vines up a plain fence, sometimes its planting a small tree or bush that hopefully in ten years will bring more serenity and plushy privacy to our home.

The real attainment and goal for me in life is not the college degree I spent too much money on or the well-paying job I once had, but the continual small changes I make to my domestic sphere that bring pride, beauty, and happiness to an ever-evolving tapestry of married home life.

6 comments:

Melissa Mobley said...

Thank you for this piece. I am apart of a FB group that celebrates homemaking and I am honored to be able to stay home and take care of my family too!

Kathy Thurman said...

We are fortunate that we have husbands that share and support our vision and are willing to take on the responsibility of being the head of the household. It is such a foreign concept to many these days, both men and women!

Kathy T

The Quaint Housewife said...

Melissa,

It sounds like you are living a cozy existence in your home with your loved ones!

QH

The Quaint Housewife said...

Kathy,

I agree! Fortunate ladies we are. It saddens me to see the state of affairs today :(

QH

Laurel Woods said...

This exactly captures my thoughts as well, thank you for writing this. I unfortunately had the same big headed dreams of corporate success when I was younger. Now, since I have worked in a masculine field for a few years, I feel very foolish. As I've settled into my marriage, my priorities have seemingly changed from strong willed, working woman to submissive/homey nester. I crave pleasing my husband by helping him in what I believe to be my God given role. I am in my early twenties, and I feel pulled in two directions. Obligated by the "feminist" movement to wear the pants and waste my domestic talents or become the lovely, caring stay at home nurturer that I know I can be. Fortunately, my husband has mentioned (many times) that he would welcome me as a stay at home wife if that is what I wanted to do and we could afford it (which I think we will be able to afford it in a year or so)
I love your articles. Please keep them coming!
Olivia

The Quaint Housewife said...

Olivia,

I hope you're able to become the homey nester you want to be. I too, changed, just the way you describe yourself. I am sure you have nothing to feel foolish about. And at least you're still very young! I hope to write more. Thanks for your compliments!

QH