Don't get me wrong. We're not rural, but rural is close by. Still, living on a quiet street as a housewife in a small community ruins you for any more congested living than that. Anymore, any time we get on a highway and there are more than three cars around us I start saying things like, "Well there's a lot of people out." I simply don't like the crowded ways of life, even when it's not that crowded. More than that, though, I am not so happy when travels take me away from the house.
What happens when I have to leave the house? It takes me away from the things that I love -- our cats, sofa, books, my stewing pots and freezer full of comfort food, my windows where I can look down on the garden and at the trees, the place where I've made my mark with my husband as just -- ours. Don't get me started on being among a throng of strangers in public. These people don't care about us. Why be near people of questionable intentions if you don't have to be?
|This would be my Victorian kitchen.|
And now that I have a house and husband, it's the perfect excuse to not go anywhere, after all, there's just so much to do. What would happen if the furniture didn't get polished, if the curtains didn't get laundered, if the walls didn't get painted, if the cats didn't get fed, if dinner didn't get made, if the chimney didn't get cleaned out, if the garden harvest of beans didn't get blanched for freezing?
This house needs us, but perhaps we need it much more. Home is my security blanket and I never want to be without it.
When I was single I used to love to travel the US, Canada, and the Caribbean. But I don't have that wanderlust much anymore. The desire to be comfortable and secure has taken the place of wanting to go here and there and everywhere, and I no longer miss the urban life. I look back on lunches with coworkers full of shallow conversation, on weekends out with people who I thought were friends, on crossing streets with angry traffic, over-the-top bass, scam artists, and rude strangers of every sort.
I don't miss the one-upsmanship of career choices, advanced college degrees, the belief that people have to belong to certain political parties or organizations or subscribe to specific beliefs to make them more cultured, sophisticated, or worthy of respect. I am world-weary and no longer wish to answer the call of "civilized" life.
Don't make me leave the house.