Saturday, January 11, 2014

Happy to Be a Submissive Wife

Happy to Be a Submissive Wife. Comforting him after a long day of work.

Candace Cameron Bure caught flak for saying that she is a submissive wife, but I applaud and can relate to her, because I am a submissive wife too.

I am surprised that she would be criticized just for upholding traditional values and traditional marriage.

Being a housewife without children whose husband is the provider of the house, I am grateful to my husband for all he does for me, and for allowing me to live a life free of the cares of the working world.

I am able to live in my domestic tranquility and do what I please as a result. I think most wives today do not like having a submissive role because so many work outside of the home and want to have an equal voice as a result. Listening to other people at work telling them what to do for 40 hours per week is perhaps all the submission they want to deal with.

I was overjoyed to read The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle because she is a voice of traditional reason in our crazy, selfish, high-divorce-rate world. It's about how respecting your husband and submitting to him goes such a long way in keeping your marriage happy.

I could go on about how great each section of the book is, but chances are if you are anything like me you will nod in agreement with its wisdom and insight. I like to reread parts of this book after I have an argument with my husband. It puts a lot into perspective.

But for women like me, having a male leader in the home is natural. It complements our very feminine personalities. We are in love with the protective, provider, masculine qualities of our husbands. He works hard for me every day, so I am happy to cook for him, love him, and make our house beautiful. When he comes home from his stressful job, all I want to do is put my arms around him and help him relax.


Stephanie Reck said...

I could not agree more.

Quaint Housewife said...

Steph, thank you! Always nice to meet someone who agrees.

Summer said...

Beautifully written.

Quaint Housewife said...

Thanks Summer!

Anonymous said...

I have been reading up on this and I do think it is a great way of living however, how do you do this if you work outside the home a 40+ hour week. I do all the cooking and cleaning now, I give the back rubs however I do not get home until around 6;30 pm and I too am tired. I do want to know how I can do more how I can give more but I have to think do I have anymore to give?

Catherine said...

Dear Anonymous,

I think the position you are in dictates that you will be tired at the end of the day. Working outside of the home takes its daily toll on people. I would not worry about doing more. As a working woman I would simply make the submissive part of your marriage relate more to the way you verbally and non-verbally communicate with each other.

Good luck in your marriage!


Anonymous said...

I LOVE your blog! I now work part-time (primarily from home) after leaving a successful (but miserable) career as a lawyer. My #1 priority and full-time job is being a good wife and taking care of our home. I get immense satisfaction and fulfillment from taking care of my husband, more so than anything I ever experienced in my former career. My stay-at-home work schedule allows me the best of both worlds: I am able to cook all meals and take care of all household chores, while still being able to make a substantial financial contribution to the household--which in turn reduces the stress on my husband, who works incredibly hard and is the main breadwinner. I am childfree by choice. Most people cannot wrap their minds around the fact that I embrace the housewife role, am extremely nurturing and feminine and prefer to stay home, but have absolutely no desire for children. I would love to see future blog posts about the "childfree" aspect and how you have dealt with comments or criticisms from others who think that the only legitimate reason for a woman to not work outside of the home during the day is to raise children.

Catherine Walker said...

Dear Anon,

You remind me so much of myself. I am really happy for you that you have found your own happiness at home. If you don't mind me saying -- I have always found it interesting that there are women comfortable in the attorney role, because I have heard about how combative it is in this career. But I know there are a lot of tough women out there. Anyway, I have no direct experience in it ...

It is funny, though, because an old friend of mine told me a story some years ago about how a female attorney at her law firm was going to become a housewife when she got married. So it must be that some ladies find it is not for them. My friend didn't have anything nice to say about her, but then again, this ex-friend of mine seemed to be against women relying on their husbands. Perish the thought!

I think society is so stuck on pigeonholing people into what they believe should be their roles in life. How about they just mind their own business?

An extremely nurturing and feminine woman like yourself indeed would love being home. I describe myself the same way.

I will take your feedback about criticisms into great consideration for future posts. It is a common theme childfree women deal with, unfortunately.

Thank you for being a reader, too!

Here's to a happy life at home!

Rachel said...

I stumbled across your blog on google. Thank you so much for making this blog. I am a stay at home wife and I love it! I love making our house a home and haven. There are times, though, when I feel very discouraged because of all the negativity being a SAHW brings from other women. I don't really have friends, so reading through your posts have been refreshing and encouraging!

Catherine Walker said...


Thank you for your compliments. I am sort of in the same position as you. My real friends are out of state. I haven't bothered to try to make new friends here. I am introverted and a home body. Your home sounds cozy :)

We don't have kids, so a lot of people would probably make comments about me too if they knew me. One of my ex-friends talked badly about housewives before I moved out of state, hence the ex-friend.

Quaint Housewife

Bercel KyBer said...

*applause* Our marriage became much happier once I decided to become more submissive.

Rachel said...

I, too, am an introvert and homebody! Nothing makes me happier than being at home crocheting and cooking! I look forward to taking the time to read through your blog as well as your current posts! (:

Catherine Walker said...

Thanks Rachel Glad there are other people out there like me too :)

Catherine Walker said...

Thank you, Bercel. It is a great way to live when you have the right guy. Blessings to your marriage.

Domestic Angel said...

Wow. I just read your article on Hub Pages "How to be a Submissive Wife" and I was profoundly moved. It described perfectly the kind of wife I wanted to be and how far I am from being that. Recently my youngest child started school and I have found myself in a conundrum about how to spend my newly found time. After reading your article I realized that I should place my career pursuits firmly in the hobby department and make my husband and home my first priority. I feel so inspired.

Because of your suggestion I read "The Surrendered Wife" which was brilliant and I'm incorporating everything I learned as best I can. I especially appreciate your eight steps at the bottom of the article. You could write an entire article on each one. I would love to learn more about everything. It would be very helpful to hear how you applied each step specifically with examples from your own life. I feel I am experiencing a total paradigm shift. Thank you so much. I can't wait to read more of your posts and articles.

Catherine Walker said...

Dear Angel,

As a devoted housewife, I'm so happy to hear I have inspired an old-fashioned shift in you. I myself also slip in the wife department sometimes.

Even though you say you are far from being a submissive wife, I think the fact that you want to apply this philosophy into your life means it is already a part of who you are as a person :) Our society pushes women away from being happy with a main role in marriage/motherhood and I think leeches their softer sides away from them.

In addition, I think one of the worst parts of modern womanhood is demanding things from our husbands just because we're women. Forcefully trying to get our way or being combative leads to an unhappy husband, and then an unhappy wife. In some ways I think modern feminism has too many aspects of male-bashing or bullying in it. More is definitely to be gained from using feminine wiles and kindness with our husbands.

My personality is that of nurturer and helper, and it turns out a lot of women who want to become housewives or stay at home mothers have the same type of personality.

I think this role is becoming attractive to more women again because outside society seems to be getting worse as time goes on. And with no surprise a lot of women look forward to having a baby because it gives them a reason to be at home and "away from it all."

There are so many enjoyable ways to spend your time at home. Whether you start to paint on canvas, do canning, sewing, cooking from scratch, cleaning, redecorating, exercise, reading, or just anything that suits your fancy, enjoy your role. Some homemakers also have little home side businesses they work on between making meals.

Angle, I am sure you were already a wonderful wife and mother. I also know your family will reap an extra lot of happiness from your decision to be a submissive wife!